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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Myth - Love occurs instantly between the child and the stepparent

This myth says that I will automaticlly love his or her children; or that the children will automatically love us because we are such nice people.

Of course this is not realistic.  Stepfamilies are like a "full mean deal" - some of them are easier to love than others.  Love can and often happens in Stepfamilies - but it takes time - it does not happen "over night" or because we "want it to happen". 

Stepfamilies are often places where it is hard to accept that sometimes we are willing to have a relationship with someone who is not willing to have a relationship with us.  We often get hurt in this process and can become resentful and angry.

Having realistic expectations is a good place to start with the Stepfamily.  We worked on respect as an initial step.  Love did happen but it came after respect and a willingness to be part of this new family and to let love happen again. 

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