This myth says that I will automaticlly love his or her children; or that the children will automatically love us because we are such nice people.
Of course this is not realistic. Stepfamilies are like a "full mean deal" - some of them are easier to love than others. Love can and often happens in Stepfamilies - but it takes time - it does not happen "over night" or because we "want it to happen".
Stepfamilies are often places where it is hard to accept that sometimes we are willing to have a relationship with someone who is not willing to have a relationship with us. We often get hurt in this process and can become resentful and angry.
Having realistic expectations is a good place to start with the Stepfamily. We worked on respect as an initial step. Love did happen but it came after respect and a willingness to be part of this new family and to let love happen again.